Can't Let Go Read online

  ***

  It’s been a long night of party hopping. I end up driving Shannon’s Nissan because I’m the least drunk out of the two of us. And I don’t want her crappy driving skills and her delayed reflexes get us killed.

  Katy Perry’s song “I Kissed A Girl” blares through the speakers. Shannon, with her overly dramatic hair flipping and hand gestures, is making her best attempt at singing like a rock star. Unfortunately, the sweet vocals of Katy Perry are lost under Shannon’s dying cat sounds.

  “I kiss-ed a gurrl, and I liked it!” she howls.

  Shannon leans over and plants a wet kiss on my cheek. I cringe, remembering the tongues she’s swapped spit with tonight. I fake a laugh and rub off the slobber she left with the back of my hand.

  “Shannon, how much did you drink tonight?”

  “I dunno,” she says, throwing her head between her legs. “Shoot.” She finds the back of the seat again with a thud. “I think I lost my phone.”

  “Umm… it’s in your bra.”

  “Huh?” She looks down. The end of her bright pink iPhone case is visible between her massive chest and orange top. She squeals then laughs. “There it is!”

  I roll my eyes. My aunt knows how to pick them.

  “Hey, I know that truck!” Shannon yells, pointing out the window.

  “What truck?”

  A set of bright, white headlights nearly blind me as they pass. Shannon pulls her phone from her shirt. Squinting at its backlight, she manages to find the number she’s looking for.

  “Hey, you sexy thing,” she screeches into the phone. “What are you doing?”

  Her high-pitched voice falters while the mystery man on the other end talks. I can hear a deep murmur but can’t understand what he’s saying.

  With a nod, Shannon hangs up and says, “Turn there.”

  “No. It’s like two in the morning. I want to go to bed.”

  After being dragged from one house to another all night, I’m kind of over her promiscuous way. Because let’s face it, why else would we be about to meet a random man in the middle of the night?

  “Come on, don’t be such a party pooper.” Shannon sticks out her bottom lip and bats her big brown eyes.

  Not wanting to hear how I’ve cock-blocked her the rest of the night, I concede. “Fine.”

  Shannon shrieks and points at an upcoming streetlight. After more wrong turns than right, we finally make it to an empty church parking lot.

  No more than five minutes later a black, purring, diesel truck pulls up a few spaces to our left. Shannon jumps out of the passenger seat before the truck gets out of gear. I watch her wait like a kid on Christmas for someone to come out. The truck reverses and adjusts itself.

  My eyes are drawn to a white sticker on the back glass. Don’t laugh, your daughter might be in here. As much as I don’t want to, a laugh escapes me. This dude sounds like a tool already.

  A lanky, blond steps out from the driver’s side. He holds his arms out and Shannon runs into them, jumping and latching her legs around his waist.

  I roll the window down and shout, “Uh…hi. I’m Mallory.”

  After a second of waiting for a reply that I don’t receive, I roll up the window and they disappear into the darkness of his truck.

  Well, at least I’m not stuck outside.

  I lean the seat back and close my eyes, enjoying the rocking sensation in my head. The door opens again and I squeeze my eyes tighter, casting out the overhead light’s brightness. I sense a body next to me, but it doesn’t smell like Shannon. It smells like whiskey, spices, and wood.

  Peeling one eye open, I turn my neck. A black cowboy hat shadows most of the face that is looking at me. I open both eyes and lift my head off the seat. The guy tips the front of his hat at me. I blush, not because I’m flattered, but because people don’t do things like that where I’m from.

  “Hey, there sexy thay-ung.” He has a thick, southern accent and his words slur. I press my lips into a firm line, fighting a smile as I sit my seat back up. The passenger door closes and the overhead light goes out almost immediately, but the glow of the streetlight is just bright enough that I can kind of make out his face.

  “You’re so day-um pri-teee.”

  I can’t tell if the over annunciation is from his southern twang or the alcohol. “Thanks.”

  I feel his eyes on me. My stomach flutters.

  Why is it fluttering?

  No. I can’t go down that rabbit hole again; it’s too soon. Needing a distraction from my treacherous heart, I grab my phone from the center console and troll Facebook. This dude can’t keep flirting if I refuse to look at him.

  I watch Mr. Cowboy shift from the corner of my eye. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together.

  What is he doing?

  Abruptly, he turns to me and says, “I’m a bull rider.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Mr. Cowboy sits up straight and leans closer, his warm whiskey breath blows on my face. “I’m a bull rider.”

  “So?”

  Chapter 4

  Beau

  Shannon is on Kevin like white on rice before I can make it around the truck. Knowing Kevin, he would have done Shannon right there in the parking lot, but that’s not cool. Shannon may be easy, but she still deserves some semblance of respect.

  “Y’all wanna use my—” they climb in before I can finish getting the words out.

  Shaking my head, I make my way over Shannon’s car. Knowing her, she left it unlocked and running for a quick get in-get out kind of thing. Opening the passenger door, I have every intention of laying the seat back and closing my eyes. With those two, this little sexcapade could last a while.

  The overhead light clicks on when the door opens and my breath catches in my chest. The most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen is sleeping in the driver’s seat. She looks like an angel. There are no other words for her. Long brown hair curls over her shoulders and that red shirt of hers is practically painted on, hugging her chest, exposing the top of her breasts which look massive against her tiny frame.

  She’s so small. I’d probably break her if we ever tangled up together. I try to hide my smile as I picture her naked on top of me. Sleepily, she opens one eye and looks up. Realizing the light must have woken her up, I tip my hat and sit down in the passenger seat. Closing the door, the light clicks off and I silently curse it for making her beautiful face that much more difficult to see.

  “Hey, there sexy thing.” Oh, Christ, did I just say that? What the heck is wrong with me?

  She doesn’t say anything.

  The streetlight down by my truck casts just enough light through the windows to see her face once my eyes adjust. She doesn’t smile, but her gaze darts over to me a few times. Maybe I can save this. “You are so damn pretty.”

  “Thanks.” She says, pulling out her phone. The bright light illuminates her angelic face, and I swear I swoon. I blame the alcohol. My eyes fixate on her, waiting for her to look at me.

  One second.

  Two seconds.

  Four seconds.

  Shit. I must seem like such a creeper just staring at her while she refuses to look at me. There’s no other choice. I pull out my go-to line. “I’m a bull rider.”

  It all starts with her eyes. They find me first, then her head turns. The corners of her mouth turn up in a small but noticeable smirk.

  She’s hooked. That line always gets them. There’s a sweet satisfaction knowing that I’ve broken through her façade. But all I want tonight is a kiss. The amount of alcohol coursing through my system would make me useless for anything else.

  “Excuse me?” she says.

  Leaning closer, I can smell her. The sweet scent is intoxicating and makes my head swim. Flashing my best smile, I say again, “I’m a bull rider.”

  She pauses. Her eyes scan me from head to toe. Finally, she says, “So?”

  I grin again. Her resistance is endearing. Most of the girls around her
e throw themselves at me, but not this one. The fact she doesn’t want me makes me want her even more. One way or another, I will win her over.

  ***

  I grunt and force my eyes open. Looking around, I realize I’m in my bed but have no idea how or when I made it home last night.

  I try to swallow but my throat is dryer than the tenderloin my brother cooked last Christmas. Rubbing my eyes, I sit up. My head spins inside itself, and I instantly regret killing that bottle of Jack Daniel’s last night.

  Grabbing a glass of water from the kitchen, I saunter into my living room. Kevin’s sprawled out on the couch with one arm hanging off the side and the other behind his head. I swat at his foot hanging off the armrest.

  “Hey. Wake up.”

  “Ughhh.” Kevin turns, rolling deeper into the couch, his snoring muffled in the fabric of my cushions. After quenching my parched throat, I rest my cup on the side table.

  He wants to be difficult?

  Fine.

  Walking behind the couch, I squat. My fingers find its bottom edge. In one swift motion, I stand, lifting the couch’s hind legs off the ground. Kevin rolls off, landing on my hardwood floors with a thud.

  “Dude. What the hell?” Kevin yells, finally awake. He stumbles to his feet. There’s dark purple bags under his red eyes, he looks like he’s been hit by a semi.

  Grabbing a clean shirt from the laundry basket on my recliner, I throw it at him. “Get changed. I’m hungry.”

  ***

  “So, who was that chick last night?”

  “Which one?” Kevin asks, uncertainly.

  “The one from the church.”

  The blank look and slack expression says enough. He didn’t see her. I’m not surprised.

  Kevin’s brows furrow. “You mean Shannon?” Mumbling under his breath, he shakes his head. “See, this is why I was driving last night.”

  “I wasn’t that wasted. I’m talking about the one in Shannon’s car.”

  Kevin shrugs. “I didn’t know there was one.”

  “That’s right. You were too busy sucking face to notice anything.”

  Kevin shoots me a sly grin. “That’s not the only thing that was sucked last night.”

  “Dude.”

  Kevin holds his hand up for a high five. Our hands slap together then he’s back to slurping the last few sips of his tea.

  “You think you can ask her?”

  “Ask who?”

  “Shannon.”

  “Ask her what?”

  “Who the chick was.” I groan. This is pointless.

  “Why do you care?”

  I shrug. Nothing I could say would make sense. I met a girl that I can barely remember, but what I do remember about her rocks me to my core. “I dunno, man. I just do.”

  Chapter 5

  Mallory

  The air is thick with sex, pot, and sweat, as it should be at any summer party. It’s not huge party—at least not compared to the one’s back home. There are maybe twenty or so people squished into a one-bedroom house the size of a shoebox.

  People nod or smile as they walk past me, but no one’s stopped to say anything more than a passing “hey.” I lie to myself that it’s cool. It’s not like I’m making this huge effort to be social. There’s no point. After tomorrow, I’ll probably never come back to this shit-hole town. The only friend I need is the beer in my hand and it’s time for another.

  The distraction is nice though. Any other Saturday night I’d be crying into a wine bottle, drinking alone in my room, scrolling through my ex’s social media. I’m a glutton for punishment. Seeing pictures of him with my so called “best friend” hurts, but I can’t seem to stop looking.

  So, I lie to myself all the time these days. Pretending that all the happy couples around me don’t twist my stomach. They do. I used to be them—that obnoxiously happy couple who couldn’t keep their hands off each other. At least, that’s who we were in public. Too bad he was cheating on me the whole damn time.

  The ear-piercing sounds of Shannon’s squeals pull me from my thoughts and back to tonight’s party. She’s hurled herself onto a dark-haired girl with rich caramel-colored skin. After a brief interaction, Shannon takes the girl by the hand. My stomach lurches when I realize she’s bringing her to the corner I’m hiding in.

  “Mallory, this is Jess. Jess, Mallory.”

  “Hey,” Jess says. Almond-shaped eyes the color of the sea are glossy and a little droopy. She looks drunk. Or high. Or maybe both.

  I force a smile that probably looks halfway genuine. “Hey.”

  “Mallory’s not from here. She’s visiting her Aunt from some beach in Florida.”

  Jess raises an eyebrow.

  “She’s got that half right,” I say. “I’m visiting colleges in the area. My Aunt is letting me crash at her place while I’m here.”

  That’s a lie. My mom was worried my wallowing would ruin her reputation at the country club. I may or may not have caused a scene when I broke up with Lauderdale’s most eligible bachelor. So, fearful of another outburst, she sent me to Georgia for a few weeks.

  I’m glad.

  I’d rather be here than stuck in Fort Lauderdale, forced to mingle with the people who ruined my life. But no one needs to know my dirty laundry, and college is a reasonable excuse to be visiting.

  “Cool,” Jess says.

  I tune their voices out as Jess and Shannon carry on a conversation. Frankly, I don’t care what they have to say. I’ll probably never see Jess again after tonight.

  Why should I allow myself to care?

  To listen to her life.

  To make a friend.

  Better to be a bitch and keep everyone an arm’s length away than give someone the chance to hurt me again. Walls. Building walls and drinking beer.

  The hair on my arms stands on edge. I look around, unsure of what’s caused the sensation. My breath catches when I see him again, the drunken cowboy. It was dark last night, but there’s no denying it’s him.

  It’s the first time I’m able to see him properly. He’s ruggedly handsome, with a strong jawline that’s got the beginnings of a five o’clock shadow and lustrous brown hair. Hair that’s ruffled like he just had sex. Probably because he just did. Tight, dark blue wranglers hug every inch of him right down to his yellow and brown cowboy boots. He has on a black button-down shirt that’s a little tight around the arms and falls in such a way I can make out the lines of his muscles underneath.

  Mr. Cowboy walks in, high fiving nearly everyone he passes, a panty-dropping smile that most girls would go crazy for on his face. If I wasn’t such an emotional wreck, I’d probably be one of those girls right now.

  How many hearts has that smile broken?

  There’s a nervous tingle deep down in my stomach. I turn my back to him and hide my face between Shannon and Jess.

  “What’s wrong?” Shannon asks.

  “He’s here,” I whisper.

  “Who?” Shannon turns. Her hand slams into my chest, spilling the beer in her Solo cup all over me.

  “Really?” I look down at my drenched blouse.

  Shannon and Jess burst out laughing. “Sorry, Hun.”

  I peel the sheer shirt off and someone starts whistling. My eyes bounce from face to face until they find Mr. Cowboy again. A cheeky grin taunts me while he talks to the guy Shannon hooked up with last night. Kevin, I think it was.

  Shannon’s most recent piece of ass cups his mouth with his hands and howls. Mr. Cowboy laughs, shamelessly eyeing me up and down until our gazes tangle. He gives me an upward nod. My cheeks flush, a fire lit in them and in my stomach.

  Why does my body have to betray me?

  Why does he have to be so hot?

  It should be illegal to be that hot.

  Stop looking at him!

  A few other guys near them start hooting and hollering, probably hoping I’ll take another layer off. It’s not gonna happen. I step behind Jess, shielding myself from the wolves.

  Sha
nnon on the other hand passes her cup to Jess and tries to dance. Her shirt climbs up her torso, exposing the bottom of her tits, before sliding back down her stomach, and then up again. Stepping onto a coffee table, she keeps the charade going.

  “Is she always like this?”

  “Yeah. Pretty much,” Jess says. “But we all love her. The nights are never dull when Shannon’s around. How’d you two meet?”

  “Shannon’s mom works with my aunt. My aunt arranged for her to hang out with me.” I let out a breathy laugh. “I sound like a loser.”

  Jess takes a sip of her beer. “Nah, you’re just new. Come on. I’ll introduce you to the rest of the gang.” Her thumb hitches in the direction of Mr. Cowboy, the Kevin dude from last night, and a big, burly-looking man with tattoos that cover almost every inch of his arms.

  I dig my heels into the ground. “Nope, I’m good.”

  “What? Why not?”

  I nudge my head in the direction of the door. “Him.”

  “Who?”

  “The dude in the black button-down.”

  “Beau? Beau Cooper?” Jess giggles. “He’s like every girl’s wet dream and great in bed from what I hear. Come on.” Her cold hand intertwines with mine.

  Every inch of me knows I shouldn’t let her take me to him.

  He’s too handsome.

  He’ll break down my walls before I can get them fully erect.

  So why can’t I make my feet stop moving?

  Chapter 6

  Beau

  Shannon latches on to Jess as soon as we get to the party, dragging her over to some chick I’ve never seen before. The new girl’s pretty, like real pretty. She looks familiar, but I can’t figure out where I’ve seen her before. She catches me checking her out and our eyes lock. The corner of her lips turn up into the smallest smile before she looks away. She turns her back me and this view is almost as good as the last.

  Kevin’s practically drooling. His eyes rake over her body and there’s a burning sensation in my chest. I don’t want him to look at her like that. “Dude, check out the ass on that one. Dibs.”